I Have Music ADD (and other observations)

I've been working all summer. It's been tough and altogether unrewarding. Still, I have been told it is worth it. And frankly, I'm too tired to not heed those words blindly.

My point?

I am not writing that much. Sorry. I know, you miss me. I'd miss me too. It may just be my luminescent self-confidence, but I would like to think I have a sort of gift at writing. I may not be the best nor the most entertaining, but I have a better grasp at this medium then it's social equivalent.

• Anyways, I don't think I have made any progress on that Summer Reading/Watching list. If I did, it's miniscule at best. I have a few weeks off before heading up to Bloomington, though, so I may make a last-minute sprint to make it look like I tried.

• Saw Wall-E, Indiana Jones, and Kung-Fu Panda so far this summer. I highly recommend all three. The real gem, though, is Wall-E. The robot story shows more humanity then any movie I have ever seen. You'll leave the movie changed. And, if you are like me, a little teary-eyed.

• I have realized I have Music Attention Deficiet Disorder. It's not a severe case, but after looking over my iTunes library, I've come to this revelation. I do not have a favorite artist. This is not good. Why? Real, passionate fans have at least one favorite musical artist that they know from bottom-up. They know all their songs, their biography, their family members, even their birthday. So, I've looked over some of my favorite artists and decided that the least overwhelming favorite artist to recognize would be Bruce Springsteen. My goal is to know his discography, up and down.

• Final Excited Note: I'm going vacation in August! NYC, Boston, and Cape Cod! It's going to be amazing. I love to travel.
  

Morality

The sudden departure of Meet the Press host Tim Russert and subsequent press coverage has elicited a onslaught of emotions.

This, in itself, is rather unsettling. I rarely watched Meet the Press and I only had a passing familiarity with Russert himself. Still, his death and its affect on others has sparked some feelings that I really wish would go away.

Forgive me for the historical analogy. My life, and to some extent probably yours, is like the Cold War. We wait upon the edge of our seat for something to happen -- death. An always impending and imminent doom frustrated and scares us. We must live our lives knowing that we could die the next day.

I guess the cliche "live every day like it's your last" really does ring true.

Some might say that this is a pessimistic way of looking at life. They'll say live life one step at a time. One day at a time. Do not fear death, but welcome it. It is a new start.

But think about it.

If tommorrow is my last day, can I say that I've enjoyed my time on earth? Can I say that I've done the things I want to do?

Can I say that I've traveled, like I always wanted to do?
Can I say that I've made a family, like I always wanted to do?
Can I say that I've been successful, like I always wanted to be?
Can I say that I've lived a good life, like I always want to do?

The answer to all of these questions is no.

This is what alarms me. I know I cannot just stop what I'm doing now (working all summer) and live today like it's my last. That would be foolish.

But that's just it -- I feel like we can never win this Cold War. The Berlin Wall will not fall down. Because even if we do the things that we want to do, life will still ultimately be too short.

And so, are we destined to unhappiness?

I don't know. Right now I feel like I'm wasting time. Wasting time working. Wasting time not being around my friends. Wasting time not pursuing possible relationships. Wasting time not traveling.

It's a vicious circle, really. And there is no end in sight.